Well here it is – all 30 pages of gaming goodness targeted just at you girls! It’s got pink things and babies in it! Woot! >_>
Cover shot featuring the title in pink (of course) and lots of DS lites because we all know that’s all girls can manage! On the back it features a man and a woman playing the Wii. The guy looks like he’s going to kill something and the woman doesn’t look like she knows what’s going on. Quite fitting really as we all know girls have smaller brains that can’t handle anything other than My Pet Dolphin (which we’ll come to in a minute!)
“A Princess in the Brawl” – OMG PRINCESSES!!!! *squeals* >_> The intro features a woman that looks like a teacher.
“I love puppies! Blah blah blah!” – 10 Tofu points to the first person that gets this reference 😛 This page is all about why you should buy the DS lite…and puppies >.< And I quote “The DS Lite is the only console with two screens” – erm no it’s not. There’s something called the DS Phat which came out before the Lite? You know? Oh sorry you’re too busy talking about shoes >_>
“That tiny little hole is actually a microphone…” – no shit Sherlock, it has MIC written next to it! And patronizing much? “…and if you’re online you can chat to you friends…” – OMFG I found a typo! Haha silly girls, you’re best off in the kitchen. Writing and intellectual things are for men. “…through it when playing a game of Pokemon Diamond/Pearl. You’ll also need to blow into it to put out flames in games like The Legend Of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass and LEGO Indiana Jones. Genius”. Ok I’ve learnt something from this: the way to a woman’s heart is through diamonds and microphones. Gotcha.
This page features the Wii with a whole section titled “Go shopping” – us girls can’t get enough of it! >_> About making Mii’s the guide states “It’s so easy to do as well as you just choose your body shape and then move onto tinkering with your nose, eyes and mouth before accessorising” ACCESSORISING! OMG OMG OMG!!! >_<
Cooking Mama and My Pet Dolphin! Don’t get too excited ladies, you might just break a nail 😮 I think this page is pretty self-explanatory…
Also don’t dolphins attempt to have sex with people stranded at sea? The guide states they are friendly creatures…almost too friendly…
Princess on Ice! And I quote “You’ll get some nice words of encouragement from the judges if you skate well. Excellent!” and “You can check out the personal details of each dancer. Gabrielle likes yellow!” Next week girls we’ll be learning ABC! >_>
“…and buy new toys for your pets. You can also earn new accessories for your pets by playing various mini-games…” – Accessorising pets now? What next? :S The following page features Spore Creatures which looks out of place in such a fluffy magazine…mind you they did add the caption “Change your creature’s body colour and his hair before adventuring” which makes it slightly more fitting. Also I actually played this game and they didn’t have hair >_>
This is more like it! 2 double page spreads on the Imagine games. To be perfectly honest I don’t need to imagine babies – I’ve seen them crying in supermarkets, on buses, in restraunts. Making a game about looking after these little shits? Wow…
Imagine Girl Band (storm the charts as a pop princess – more princesses! Yay!!) states “Everyone’s imagined being in Girls Aloud in front of the mirror. We’ve all done it”. Except me 
It gives me a creepy mental image of the woman at the start of the magazine parading around in front of a mirror with a hair brush :S
Of course the character shown has pink eye shadow, pink blusher and pink lipstick. Cause us girls love pink! :L
This is the part that saddens me – back in the day when I sported a mahussive 90’s fringe I used to look up to Fern. She was so pretty and cool and did Top of the Pops. Now she’s doing this crap *sobs* Why?!
Animal Crossing and Viva Pinata should not be in here >:L Girl’s brains can’t handle the sheer awesome 😀
More cutesy games…
After buying the first Pokemon Mystery Dungeon I wish I had just burnt my money now…the game has sat unplayed, disregarding the first 5 mins that it took to realise it was shit.
More princesses kicking butt with the power of pink >.< Kirby’s pretty cool though so no dissing >:L
A DS game about cooking because we all know where a woman’s place is 😀
Posted by Tofu Hero 
Tofu Hero Gaming 